53 - From Business Deals to Deep Connections: The Art of Emotional Intelligence with Smita Joshi

[00:00:00] Welcome to the Digital Rapport Podcast, where you discover how to connect, influence and inspire in the digital age. To me, I'm becoming very conscious of just how moment by moment by moment you can make something beautiful, harmonious, peaceful, or you can do the opposite to that.

[00:00:28] So I think language, words and your awareness of how you are applying those things, you know, I think it makes wars or it brings about, you know, peaceful worlds.

[00:00:51] Welcome everybody to the Digital Rapport Master Series interview and today I am super excited because I have the amazing Smita Joshi who's a best-selling author of the book Karma and Diamonds, which is a gripping journey of self-discovery across continents and lifetimes to be the best you and thrive amidst life's chaos. And she's a peak performance and transformation coach. Welcome Smita, how are you doing?

[00:01:18] Oh Jatinder, thank you so much. It's really nice to be on your podcast, finally. Finally, I really appreciate the time. And as always when we start, when we do these interviews, we always just get into like straight away and say, look, what is rapport to you?

[00:01:34] Rapport is the ability to connect with another person. Rather, rapport is connecting to another person where you feel you're meeting in the same place and both people feel understood, received, appreciated, and valued. Respected and valued perhaps also, you can also appreciated, respected, and valued.

[00:02:01] Appreciated, respected, and valued. So that's coming from the understanding of understanding other people, right? And being able to connect with them so that you're very present in the moment. Am I right to assume that? Yeah, it's that you're in the world of the other person. You're not consumed with yourself. You're really listening to that other person with your whole awareness.

[00:02:24] So it's that ability to listen to the words, but also take in their being and to give them, I'd say to grant them being, you know, give them the space to be who they are and to show up in the moment in the best way that they can. So you're granting them that listening.

[00:02:49] You're actually granting them that space rather than coming from your preconceptions of them, from the past, the interactions you've had with them in the past or any aspect of your past where you look at a person and you think, hmm, they remind me of this, like that subconscious, like they remind me of someone. And then you relate to that person from the lenses of something that is familiar to you.

[00:03:16] But that person, whether they're a new person in your life or whether they're someone you've known in a long time, has never, ever been in this moment in the present. It's a fresh moment for them, you know, and the next moment and the next moment.

[00:03:29] So the biggest gift I find when you can listen to someone without judgment, without resentment, without preconception, without expectation, then you really get what they're saying and who they are. And you get to actually see them for themselves without any tainting from the past or from your own filters.

[00:03:59] That's fascinating. I mean, one of the things I wanted to dig a bit deeper into that, because with yourself, from what I know of you and the time we spent together and learning and understanding, I know how amazing your level of knowledge is when it comes to like, you know, you can say the ancient Indian kind of, you know, Sanskrit and all the kind of layers that are involved there.

[00:04:22] But what's amazing is how you're able to translate that into a very grounded, scientific reasoning kind of, you know, aspect of things. And I find that so amazing because the way when you share that information on your videos, on your YouTube channel, it gives you another layer to like what we call ancient knowledge and stuff.

[00:04:45] So if we were to look at that side of things, and what would you say, I know it's probably going a bit deep here, but I'm curious because what would you say that knowledge is saying in regards to like rapport? I mean, the reason I say it is because I was having a conversation with one of my mentors once and he said, he said, Jatinda, everything in the universe is trying to be in rapport with each other. And I went, oh, that's interesting. You know, so on that kind of concept, like, what are your thoughts on that?

[00:05:13] Yeah, I mean, you're absolutely right. So when you think about nature, okay, nature is constantly creating beauty, wherever it springs up, don't you think? When you're looking at, so for example, even when you look at weeds, when you look at things that occur spontaneously, spontaneous growth and occurrence, all of it is somehow trying to make itself into its most beautiful essence.

[00:05:39] And I think it's no different to human beings. And with the knowledge that we've gained from the past, you know, it's knowledge without the wisdom to be able to apply it is just information, isn't it?

[00:05:56] So information we have, and this is slightly what we're suffering from probably today, I would think, you know, with so much available information, and now with AI, and, you know, so on, we can get a lot of information at our fingertips. The question is, how do you apply it?

[00:06:11] How do you actually put it into practice, so that we can, as human beings, be a higher version of ourselves, so that our relationships with each other can, you know, like nature, reach into the essence of harmony and connection with one with another, and so on.

[00:06:34] So I think that to me, that's what language is really for language is to be able to give you the ability to articulate something into existence, and then apply it such that it can be put into practical use. Otherwise, it's just information. Otherwise, it's just information.

[00:06:51] And it's, it's useless, unless you can do something with that information, hopefully, to elevate your experience of life and to elevate what you can, you know, offer of yourself. That impacts other people and the world around us, isn't it? Mm-hmm. No, definitely.

[00:07:16] I mean, it's really interesting what you share there about language, you know, because I suppose, like, in this day and age of this kind of digital communication, it's, it's the language we're using as one of the initial mediums to connect with others. Right. Right. Right.

[00:07:33] And it's, what would you, how, how would you say that not having the right type of language would then cause no rapport with others? Like, what would you say on that side of it? Oh, do you know something? I've just been thinking quite a lot about language recently, and it's shocking for me to, it's not like it's new to me.

[00:07:59] I've been, I've been working with, you know, emotional intelligence and ideas and, and, you know, learning new skills, like rewiring my brain to fire up in a, in a, in a different way. I'm constantly learning something so that I can bring to bear what we're talking about. And one of the things that even then strikes me so poignantly right now is just how powerful language is. You can make a relationship with somebody or you can break it with somebody.

[00:08:29] And it, and it, it goes across board, whether you're talking, you know, verbally or whether you're communicating digitally with somebody. It's the language, the words that you use and the tone tonality behind that, which people pick up on. Right. And it literally makes something or it breaks something. And that to me is, it's like this loaded, loaded gun or a sword that is so sharp on both ends. You can literally use it.

[00:08:59] You can wield that, that sword to, to, you know, cut away the things that, that, that shouldn't be there and that don't serve you. But if you are indiscriminate with it and if you're unintelligent in your use with it, then my God, the damage that it can do.

[00:09:18] And so to me, I'm becoming very conscious of just how moment by moment by moment, you can make something beautiful, harmonious, peaceful, or you can do the opposite to that.

[00:09:34] So I think language, words, and your awareness of how you are applying those things, you know, I think it makes wars or it brings about, you know, peaceful worlds. It brings about relationships which convey your true intent.

[00:09:56] So I, I just, I think it's absolutely fascinating and, and, and why I'm a little bit sort of taken aback by that realization at a, you know, at new levels is simply because so simple and it's so obvious. And yet we don't, we don't give it the significance that it deserves in terms of developing our skills and using it. Yeah, no, absolutely.

[00:10:25] I mean, so, you know, I would love, love for you to share that story. You tell me once about in your corporate life, corporate days and stuff where you close that crazy deal. And, and you were sharing with me about how, you know, you, how you actually using like emotional intelligence and connecting with people and the leadership and all that kind of stuff and being able to get into that position of that. Do you want to share a bit about that? Because I think it'd be quite good for listeners to hear that because I find it amazing.

[00:10:54] And I think people will take something away from me as well. Are we talking about the, which, which aspect are we talking about from there? So how are you, how are you, you sharing with that massive deal that you placed, how you basically, you know, create the connections and how you went about doing it and achieving that at the end? Yes. So I think that was so personal, the thing to know about that, that situation was I didn't want to be there.

[00:11:23] I just had my fourth major operation and for endometriosis. And it was a, it was a major situation in my life because doctors didn't actually get that it was endometriosis for a very long time. And I think I had it since I was 17 and it lasted like over, well over 15 years or something. And it just got worse and worse and worse.

[00:11:49] And so it took something for me to, to finally get into a position where I found somebody, a doctor who was one of his kind, who actually was able to, actually a small team of doctors who did their jobs really well. And, and so finally I had my, my fourth four hour operation and I'd just come out of it. I took a few weeks off to recover and came out of it.

[00:12:18] And I really wanted not to travel so much because the crazy traveling that we did were, you know, mental across, across the world. And I wanted to more be positioned also in London and be able to deal with the large, the global organizations, banks, and so on in London, in the city of London. And that wasn't the plan that my company had for me.

[00:12:46] They sent me off to, you know, to Europe. And the last place I wanted to be was to, you know, I just didn't want, I really didn't want, because we'd spent like more than 10 years creating a new paradigm for people to understand what India can offer in the area of IT. And we had, you know, we created new language around it.

[00:13:08] We, we, we had to create, you know, a lot of evidence with successful projects to be able to do this, which involved a lot of travel, taking people to India, like significant operations, you know, to, to bring that about. And I did not, and Europe was behind by as many years. And I just didn't want to start the whole thing again. So anyway, so I went there really reluctantly and I was thrown into this situation. I didn't know how big this deal was going to be. We just received a request for proposal.

[00:13:38] And it was just, you know, whenever somebody sends you a request for proposal, you know that you're on a back fit because you didn't get, unless you had a role in writing that request for proposal, you didn't contribute to that. So you're probably not going to win it, but the people who, who shaped it will. So that was, there were a number of reasons why I just didn't think it was a good way. I went and, and it turns out that we, it was a very secretive deal. We were not allowed to talk about it.

[00:14:04] And only the top 25 companies from the world were allowed to participate in this. And only two people from each company could, could go. So I was leading from mine. And what I discovered there was, you know, a whole new world in terms of, well, I mean, I was used to working across international borders and understanding cultures,

[00:14:26] but this was at another level because the, the, the, the competitors, part of the, the, the, the, what I needed to get was the landscape of the competitors and their culture and their, their, their company's culture. Then also understand the client, why the client was asking us to do this, what they needed was very unclear.

[00:14:46] So even in their team, there was a multicultural team of people, UK, Netherlands, Belgium, German, and they had very different approaches. And, you know, so, so it was a, it was this incredible learning ground. And to understand my place in it as a woman was like probably three of us there in that, in that constellation.

[00:15:11] And to figure out what exactly they were talking about, because it was so unique in their requirements and so on. So it wasn't really about learning to understand very quickly, suss out people's cultures, expectations, what they, what they were looking for us to do and how to navigate that extremely competitive environment.

[00:15:38] Because clearly this appeared to be an exceptionally large deal. And so it was a whole range of things like that. And of course, first impressions are everything, you know, both with the people that you want to win business from, which is the client.

[00:15:58] But in this scenario, with, with the competitors as well, because as it happened, we needed to collaborate with those competitors and create teams with those consortiums with those, get into a consortium. And so you, so it was a very complex scenario.

[00:16:17] So understanding culture, understanding personal drives of the individuals from the client, and then the key people, you know, that we may end up working with and not wanting to work with. Understanding their ways of working, whether they could be trusted, and to what extent, so on.

[00:16:41] So, you know, all of these things were very, very instrumental in whether or not you played at all. You know, because very quickly, certain companies fell by the wayside. Yeah, and not being able to gauge these things, you know, as, as you might need to. So, and then, then in the end, you know, you've got in, and as soon as I got into that scenario, I wanted to very quickly, you know, capitalize on that.

[00:17:08] And to make my own relationships with the clients and, and to go walk the corridors, you know, to see if I could actually learn more about the organizations. I could create a strategy from the inside, you know, what their dynamics were with each other, the various players, what we could bring to bear on the individual aspects of that, that global organization.

[00:17:32] So, the bank had a retail part to it, a wholesale, corporate, and so on. So, you know, how, what were they, what were they challenged? So, it was a really fascinating thing to do. And it was very lonely because, you know, walking the corridors of a client that you haven't won anything from yet,

[00:17:52] and that nobody knows who you are is, you know, it takes a lot of, a lot of, a lot of courage and in order, in order to get in there in the first place and to be invited into somebody's office. So, yeah, it was a lot of things. It was very fascinating, actually. I loved, I loved that kind of work. It's strategic to the nth degree when you, when you're looking at large organizations, but who give you anything from tens of millions of pounds of business to,

[00:18:20] well, in this case, it ended up being a billion dollar deal. Of course, it wasn't all mine because there were five of us that were part of that consortium, but we ended up winning it. It took us 18 months. And it does, and, you know, it requires a certain focus.

[00:18:40] It requires a certain way of looking at people, situations, and validating those perceptions with other people who know better than I who that client is. So that's making alliances with competitors who can give you some snippets of information that can help you to validate your, your, your, your, yeah. My perspective was, was I on the right track? Was I, you know, so on. Mm-hmm.

[00:19:08] Now that, I mean, that's, that's why I wanted you to share it because when you were telling me about it first, it was like a billion dollar deal. That's not a small thing, right? That's, you know, people, that's huge, right? And what you're sharing then, how you actually went into that scenario, trying to uncover the needs of the client, build those relationships, understand what they need, what's working, what's not working.

[00:19:33] And then it's almost like you, you've done this whole kind of scope, you know, like know your customer. Like you've done this massive kind of work around that to really, really understand what they needed. And then you were able to, you know, bring that information to them in a way that they understood and they can utilize. And you utilize those skills you had from, you know, from your motion intelligence training or your leadership training and everything that you've done.

[00:20:01] You put it all to the table and just really dived deep into it. And the reason I wanted to share that was because a lot of people don't realize that that's what it takes. Like that amount of digging around and research and looking, really trying to understand what your customer needs and what the problems are. And then being able to come up with a solution for it requires a lot of that rapport building and understanding and connection before those kind of deals happen, right?

[00:20:31] Right. And they were, you know, and the rapport building happens at multi-levels. It's not just me as the client lead, the client partner.

[00:20:40] That's not the only place where that has to happen because trust is built at various levels, including all the way from the chairman of the organization to the individuals, the individual leaders who head up certain parts of that organization that will be relevant to these people. So in order to bring, and then actually the people who are going to execute that work as well.

[00:21:10] So that means bringing a team on site, finding a way to work with them so we can engage a little bit better. They can see our process and prepping the people, knowing who to match with whom because personalities matter. And if you bring in somebody who's very sharp and quick, they may be very good at what they do.

[00:21:34] But if they miss the cues, the cultural cues of how to connect with the CEO or the CEO of that particular company, who might be German, who has a very different approach to somebody who's in the Netherlands. And has a very different approach to somebody in the UK. So, I mean, it's just different. You know, there are certain things that you need to be very savvy with.

[00:22:02] And then convey that to people who might be a lot more senior to you in your organization and say, you know, there's ways of briefing people so that the messages reach home. That when they arrive, you're setting them up for success. And that the connections happen, the rapport building takes place.

[00:22:26] So, to build rapport is, you know, it's not just at one layer. Depending on what you're doing, whether you're building relationships at a family level, that's a whole other ballgame with somebody. Or whether you're looking at organizational rapport. And then you need that personal individual.

[00:22:49] Even if it's the largest organization, say, Munich Re or Swiss Re, one of the two of the largest reinsurers in the world. They may be. But individuals matter. At the end of the day, trust comes between people. And rapport is founded on one of the pillars is trust. Trust.

[00:23:11] So, they need to feel that they can relate to you, that you get their problems, that they can trust you with their problem to solve it for them. And then it really helps. Not always going to happen, but it really helps if they like you. No, definitely, definitely.

[00:23:32] And how have you been finding all of that kind of, because now you've got like a really big, really cool YouTube channel that you're doing a lot of videos on. And, you know, I've seen the level of the depth of research you do with your videos as well. And when you present that and put it out there, I mean, share a little bit about that. Because I think a lot of people are in that space of digital. A lot of people are creating videos. They want to connect with the audience.

[00:23:57] What can you add to that or share with the audience that they'll find useful in that digital rapport element of it? Well, I think, you know, it's a very dicey situation when you're creating videos. Because so much of it comes down to subjective perception of the viewer, right? Do they like you? Do they think, you know, your presentation is something?

[00:24:26] Does your, for example, my presentation, I wear makeup, you know, I dress up. I have no issues not wearing makeup and just, you know, showing up as myself, which I do on my Instagram channel. But, you know, all these things can make or break the viewer's relationship with you.

[00:24:45] And I think one thing that I figured out for myself is, like, I just have to do, I have to create a channel that I feel really is the one that I want to create. And then, you know, and then really trust that my audience will find me somewhere along the way. And YouTube will help with this algorithms and stuff. But the audience will see the person that is bringing, you know, the commitment to serve them.

[00:25:15] And that hopefully shines through. So that's why I think YouTube and various social media channels are actually really interesting from that point of view. Because you do have to show up in whatever way is authentic for you. And then, you know, the one thing that must come through is your commitment to serve. And then people decide whether they like you, they don't like you, whether your content in the end, ultimately, beyond liking and disliking,

[00:25:44] the content that I make impacts their lives for the better. That is somehow there's something they take away from there that really makes a difference to them in some aspect of their life. And it's amazing how we learn from other people, little snippets here and there and everywhere, and that they make such a massive difference. And that's, to me, that's what the journey is really about.

[00:26:08] And then learning about the skill of putting together a message in a way that educates and that empowers and that inspires, but ultimately that transforms somebody. You know, that's my approach to it. And that's why I like to look at content from my personal experience, but not just limited to my personal experience either, because it's not about me.

[00:26:37] It's about sharing that in a way which is validated by people much older and greater and, you know, wiser than myself, as well as what we're doing when learning about human nature today through psychology, ontology, neurology, yoga, and other things which are evolving the whole time, you know.

[00:27:06] So to me, that's the journey. That's a really fascinating journey. And I like that. I love sharing it. It's very hard work because it takes a lot of time to create even just one blog or one vlog or podcast, you know, which is grounded in something. It's easy to give an opinion, but I don't give opinions. I try to validate. Well, I do give an opinion, but I get validated by something, as I say, over and above that.

[00:27:35] Now, I love the way you, you know, when you create the content, you make it relatable in a way that's understandable in kind of like the modern world, what's going on around us right now, and then linking it to solid kind of evidence to say this is why and how it works. And I really love that. So I encourage the viewers to basically go check that out. What's the name of your YouTube channel again? The Self-Discovery Channel. Self-Discovery Channel. Nika Joshi. That's right. That's right.

[00:28:03] So the other thing I was very, very, like, inspired by was like, look at these, right? This is your trilogy. Yeah, the Karma and Diamonds trilogy. And it's basically like your life story, isn't it? In a way, it's pretty much like all the learnings you've had along the way and how you've applied it and how they've actually guided you to deeper learnings and actually all the success and stuff that you have had in life. Let's share a bit about that.

[00:28:31] Like, how did this originally come about? So, you know, sometimes I say fact is stranger than fiction. And some of my experiences really are like that. My journey of discovery, like really questioning who I am, what is my life for, why have certain things happened in my life the way that they have? What could be behind that? So I've explored. I don't know that I've left too many stones unturned in turning to, you know,

[00:29:01] I've been very open in that exploration. So it's not only been about psychology. It's been about going deep into the shastras, into the Indian teachings to see my experiences. Can they be, are they being, are they found elsewhere? Like my, for example, my experience of, you know, the guidance that I receive when I connect

[00:29:31] internally to the higher self or whatever it's called. I mean, I discovered in my research, I spent two years at the British Library, just researching the various types of philosophies and, you know, teachings from different cultures and mostly Indian because that's where I found more value and more connection. And that is called Atman, this consciousness beyond our everyday awareness is called Atman.

[00:30:01] And I didn't know that. I called it my inner diamond because that's how it shows up for me. It's this luminous, this brilliant, beautiful, you know, treasure that feels so enriching. And, you know, that voice of that consciousness beyond my everyday awareness sounds so different to my internal dialogue, you know, to my mind monkey noise.

[00:30:28] And it has never, never misled me. And I had more and more and more experiences like this. Now, I recently come to know, and I've just made a couple of videos about this. I think one, no, we're just about to publish them about flow. So I didn't know that the research was being done into this state that has given me access to those, to that kind of information, to that kind of connection internally. But Mikhail Csikszentmihalyi has done a lot of study into the flow state.

[00:30:58] And, you know, in the West, psychologists call it the zone, you know, being in the zone. And so I guess that's where I must have got tapped into somehow without really knowing. And I found a way to get into it again and again. And that's what the books are really about is me being in the zone, me getting into the zone when I hit brick walls in life, when I hit, when I had traumatic situations in my

[00:31:27] life, because I didn't, yeah, I didn't know how to get beyond that. The only way I knew that, so I developed this way. And it came from a very early experience I had when I was age seven, when something happened and I had that very first spontaneous experience. And it felt so good. It really calmed me down.

[00:31:51] And in that moment, some voice spoke to me and said, like it was this knowing that I had. And it said, you know, you have a purpose in life. You're well taken care of. And there was something in the way that that transmission happened that it wired into my physiology, wired into my brain in some way.

[00:32:14] And it became something that I looked forward to connecting to, but I never really knew how to do it until I sat down and started to meditate. And then suddenly things started to happen. That's what the books are about. The books are really about what happened. How did I deal with the most inexplicable traumatic situations in my life?

[00:32:38] And I did that by connecting to this consciousness, this other consciousness beyond my everyday intellect and what I knew because what did I know? I was so young. And that voice I thought was important enough to talk about with people as something that is real, that we can all connect into, and that we can all be led by, guided by, not just

[00:33:09] in the traumatic situations in our lives, but I started to then use it to even just, when I wanted being lazy for shopping, I hate shopping. When I wanted to go to a party and it didn't, you know, where do I need to go to find that beautiful dress that I want to wear? You know, so I had this idea of what I wanted and then I would say, okay, take me there, you know. And then I'd have these intuitions, the synchronicity. I might see it on a billboard, somebody wearing the thing or whatever.

[00:33:34] And that's the way that, that's the language of that unspoken self. So it's the wisdom of that and writing, journaling, things coming through. You know, there are many ways, meditation, seeing imagery, seeing, just having a word pop into your mind, then you talk to somebody else about something and they mention that word, you know, the kind of creating synchronicities. Yeah.

[00:34:02] We tend to think that synchronicity happens by itself, but in fact, we can actually activate that state, that state of flow. And so that's what the books really illustrate. I didn't know at the time when I was writing them, that's what it's called, the state of flow, but that's what it is.

[00:34:23] And so the books really go from the age of seven to when I met my now husband, which was never going to happen in my old paradigm, in my old reality. So that's the journey. No, it's fascinating. I mean, I love it because I love having like these deep conversations. We've had many over the years as well. So, and it's like, you know, that is the real stuff.

[00:34:51] I always find that when you have conversation with people, their experiences of something is their experience, but to understand like what they went through and how they learned and, you know, went beyond it is like so valuable for everybody else as well. And I know, so if anybody wants to find out how to get into state your flows and tap into that inner voice, you know, definitely go check out the books. They're amazing. You know, available on Amazon, available on smith.josh.com as well. Yeah.

[00:35:21] Do a little plug for you there. Thank you so much. And those journeys, some of them are so extraordinary that we've created meditations around them, as you know. So now the books come with 12 guided meditations and they take you out of context. They sound, it's a little tricky to kind of get them. But when you're reading a chapter on swimming with wild dolphins off the coast of Hawaii,

[00:35:47] when I had many times this incredible experience, and I talk about one of those experiences with a dolphin I call Anandi because she was such a joyful, Anand meaning joy and bliss. Yeah. So, but I've created a meditation journey that can help you to swim with wild dolphins in a, you know, through guided meditation and a whole bunch of other things like that.

[00:36:11] So, you know, meditating in the cave of Sage Vashista, who's one of the seven wise sages that has given us most of the knowledge that we have today in the Shastras. He's one of the seven. You know, we went there just off the, off the river Ganges, just outside of Rishikesh. And now all you see is a tiny, humble little temple shrine to him, but you can go inside

[00:36:41] into that little gufa, into that cave, you know, where he sat and is set to have meditated. And, you know, my experience of sitting in that spot and meditating was unbelievable. I mean, the vibes there are so real even today and so high. So I thought I'd make a, you know, a guided journey that other people can participate in that and get it for themselves without having to travel there.

[00:37:11] But if ever anyone is in Rishikesh and you're listening to this podcast, you get to go to Rishikesh. Do find it. It's just outside. It's on the banks of the river Ganges and it's so peaceful and quiet there. Stunning place. The temple is, the shrine itself is quite humble, but the experience is within that place, you know? I mean, how sexy can a cave be? Do you know what I mean? No, it's true. It's true.

[00:37:38] I mean, this is the fascinating stuff about it. I mean, even like, even when I went on my journeys to India, I went to certain places. You go to certain places, like you said, gufa's caves where people have said to have meditated and stuff. And you're right. The energy and vibe there is just, it's just different. It's just, you know, how do you explain it? Like, you know, what's going on in this kind of content? People may think, oh, you guys are going crazy or something, right? But they're there.

[00:38:06] I mean, we feel it on a daily basis. You could go to your local park sometimes and have a really good experience and you could go to another park and it's like, oh, weird. You know? So it's fascinating that these things exist. And that'll be another podcast where we'll go deeper into stuff like that. Yeah, no, definitely. Thanks for sharing that. Just one other point about the books. You know, why do I have the word karma in there?

[00:38:33] Because, and diamonds, the two very contradictory things, right? But because this is an exploration that I have gone on very deep into, a deep study of understanding the journey of the soul. And, you know, the rishis have always said that we are a continuum. We are, you know, consciousness traveling through time and space in different bodies, accumulating different experiences.

[00:38:59] And the purpose of accumulating those or having those experiences is to realize that you are consciousness above and everything else. But when the soul goes through the jiva atman, the subset of the atman that lives beyond is so big that it lives beyond our everyday awareness because it's too big for a human brain to comprehend or to carry in a body.

[00:39:22] A subset of it lands in our body that we call jiva atman, jiva meaning life, jiva. So, you know, that's what lives in our body. And that's what cubulates the experience is because the rest of atman, the atman itself is not touchable. It doesn't taint by past, present, future, any experience. It's whole and complete in and of itself. But that jiva atman that travels with you brings with it memories of incarnations or

[00:39:51] past things. Sometimes it's hard to put into context. So why do I feel this? It doesn't apply to my life today. And that's why I asked the questions because there were some things that just didn't gel with my current experience of life. And so that's when my guidance led me back into the guidance that led me back into experiences went beyond time and space as I know it to be. And then it made sense. Then it made absolute and complete sense.

[00:40:21] And then I was able to get complete with aspects of a previous existence that were impinging on my existing existence and really shaping it quite powerfully. But in a way that caused me a lot of trauma and struggle and pain. And so I really wanted to complete that and find a way of stepping more into the atman than into a future that is whatever. It's fresh.

[00:40:49] It's something which is more of an experience of that anand and bliss and wholeness and completeness. That's fascinating. Yeah. I mean, somebody told me I was a monk in a previous life once. And I think it makes sense because there's like certain things that I really, really like drawn towards. And sometimes it doesn't make sense. Like why? Like, for example, flute playing in the background. I'll pick it up. It's like where that come from, you know?

[00:41:18] And I've got no musical background or anything like that. And it could be like in a Zen park and certain like structures and stuff for which are really like drawn towards. So it makes me wonder that maybe it's possible that that could have been the case, you know? No, absolutely. And I think that's the... There's a lot that we don't know about being human. And so I think it's nice to be open to the possibilities and only to the extent where they serve you,

[00:41:45] not out of pure curiosity, but only to the extent where they can serve you to forward something in this life. Because there's nothing in the past that's worth hanging on to, right? It's been and gone. Now we're here and we're now creating something amazing or we should be creating something amazing and evolving into a higher version of our own self. So that's what I think is interesting.

[00:42:10] Sometimes we do get stuck in the past and we don't know it and we don't know why that happened. And sometimes relationships go askew with people in our existing life because there is something that hasn't been resolved from the past or there is something that you need to learn in how to deal with those people that can help you to evolve aspects and qualities in your own self. Hmm.

[00:42:39] Yeah, definitely. Yeah. I think we're going to have to do another one around this topic. Definitely. I just wanted to do another question about the books, actually, because a lot of listeners out there are coaches, consultants, authors, and some people are looking to create books and stuff. And what kind of quick kind of knowledge can you give in? How did you put the book together? How did you stay committed to putting the books together?

[00:43:06] And then we know now you've got offshoot of all these other information products that you have created as well. What would you like to add towards that people would find useful in getting it done themselves as well? Writing a book. I think first and foremost, only write a book if it absolutely is a calling.

[00:43:28] Don't write a book if it's not a calling because writing a book is a very particular commitment. And it's one of those commitments that once you make it, you can't go back on yourself. So, I had it since I was 14 that I've always written. And something in me has always been preparing itself to write.

[00:43:57] And what had me do it, when I first started to write, I mean, I wrote all the time. I wrote every single day, sometimes several times a day in my journal. But I was, and I've written business proposals. But I haven't really written anything else prior to Carmen Diamonds. That was, I didn't even find blog writing easy. So, when I started to write, because I'd done those two things, I thought I can write.

[00:44:25] But it's a very different thing to remember. When you write for yourself is one thing. When you are writing a book, you're not writing for yourself. If you're writing a book for yourself, fine, it's an indulgence. If you really must do it, but know whether you're doing either for yourself or whether you really want to impact other people. If you want to impact other people, you absolutely have to get outside.

[00:44:49] You have to find a way of, first of all, having got your, whatever you're writing about, you really need to have got that down. Like, you need to have mastered those things. Because if you haven't, then it's very hard to communicate something for another person to avail of it. So, that's the first thing. The second thing is, when you're writing for other people, you need to write in a way that

[00:45:16] they can see themselves in your writing. So, depending on the type of book you're writing. My books are really about, I'm not interested in writing a how-to book. I mean, I will, but these books are not about how-to something. These books are about hooking Jatinda when he's reading in the pages to see himself in the story. Okay? So, have that suspense of disbelief.

[00:45:40] So, that's really important to share something in a way which is yours, but it's not, it's not, you know, it's got to be available by other people. And that's a whole other skill to learn. So, you have to have got certain aspects of yourself complete or mastered, whether it's a how-to book or not. Because somewhere along the way, even in a how-to book, you will have to create stories

[00:46:06] or share something which people can relate to, unless it's just a, this is how you do this, these are the steps. Okay, that's fine. So, that's what I would say. And then when, well, I had a, you know, I had a contract for a book originally, and the book was called Kick-Ass for the Soul. And it was, it was a how-to book. And then some, one of the other publishers from a large publishing house saw that, and he suddenly took an interest. In the end, we didn't publish with him, but he took an interest in my content and started

[00:46:35] to coach me in how, what he saw was possible from, from knowing me and from, you know, from what I wanted to convey. And that's how Carmen Diamonds, as they are now, came to be. So, I had many, many false starts in writing the books, and it was horrendous. I mean, soul-destroying, I can tell you that. So, you know, you have to be prepared for false starts.

[00:47:00] You have to be prepared to be criticized by a trusted advisor editor, somebody that really knows what they're doing, who has your best interests at heart, who can guide you when they read something you need to get. If it doesn't pass muster with them, it's not going anywhere. So, it's a very confronting process. You have, you know, you will end up, you do end up kind of, you know, in, in, especially

[00:47:27] your first books, you end up, you know, hitting against your own limitations, your own lack of knowledge and information. Sometimes things that you thought you had already handled and they were done, they were a done deal from your past. Sometimes they come back in again because you're writing from another place. So, depending on what kind of book you're writing, a number of things can happen.

[00:47:55] It's not because you're a good YouTuber that you can write a decent book. It's not because you're a good manager that you can, you can sell, you know, a big deal. You know, so, so, so I would say just be aware of that. And then if after all of that, you still feel cool to write, then, then you got to be prepared to put in a minimum of two hours a day for, well, depending on, on how many words you're

[00:48:25] going to write or whatever your, your content is. It took me two years to write three books without realizing I was writing three books. And I, my, my, my window of focus that gets me into the flow is minimum of four hours, but that's a long time for most people in today's age. So sometimes people can only manage that for 90 minutes. And that's why yoga helps yoga and meditation.

[00:48:51] You know, that's why I do my yoga practice really helped me to, to be still and to sit, you know, to really get into the rhythm of, of that process. So I would say, you know, find, find a place, watch my video. I've just made a video on this. It's, it's about, about flow. What is flow and how to, you know, and the flow formula, how to get in the flow. It's, I've just encapsulated, encapsulated everything that I've, I did myself, but also

[00:49:21] from the studies that have been done. And I'm sharing that in those two videos. Yes. We'll add the links to the description and stuff. So definitely do check that out. Yeah, no, that's, that's, that's fascinating because you know, there's so much value and content, like authentic stuff that you shared. And that's why I love these conversations because my personal take on things is like this holistic approach.

[00:49:49] It's not like, you know, if you're doing your business or personal life, there's so many things that can kind of intermingle and work together, which can help you move forward in what you're trying to do. And even like, you know, we spoke about various different things and you've talked about values. You've talked about connection, talked about understanding people, getting present, doing the knowledge and research. And these, these, this is what I find fascinating because you do start to see the common thread and the common kind of connections of what these things are.

[00:50:18] And those are the things that I think when we apply, we can have like really good communication and really good connection in whatever we do, like from books to videos, to big deals, to, you know, the coaching and transformational work you do and all that kind of stuff. So, um, that's, that's fantastic. And Smita, you know, I would love to carry on and I'm conscious of your time and everything. And I think we're going to definitely get on a few others as well, but if anybody wants to get in touch with you, what's the best thing for them to do?

[00:50:46] Reach out to me through my website, smita.com. There's a link in there that people can, well, I think there's a form that we have, isn't it? People can get in touch with, um, through my Instagram. Um, that's another way to, to get a message me. I think those are probably the two most, um, easy ways to do, to do that. And, uh, before we close off any last words you want to share with the listeners and viewers?

[00:51:16] Oh, I just want to say, thank you, Jatinda. I think, you know, you do, you're, you're doing the, these, um, this show report podcasts that you do are really interesting. You bring on some, um, really engaging people with powerful experiences that to share in life. And I, I think that's, um, really valuable. So I want to thank you and I want to thank you for the work that you do with me on my website. If anybody's looking for somebody to develop a really cool website for you, I've been working

[00:51:45] with Jatinda now for at least three years, if not more. And, um, you know, he's, um, you're amazing. I really really enjoy working with you. Fantastic. Smita, thank you very much. And, uh, you know, if anyone's got any questions, do get in touch and, um, thank you. And until next time. Thank you so much. Thank you for listening to the Digital Rapport podcast.

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